Final Blog on CafeMom forum

It has now come to an end with blogging about my forum- CafeMom; however, I'm not ending my time on the forum. It is so interesting to hear about what other moms post:  Their worries, concerns, frustrations, advice. It's as if there are so many women out there that I can turn to if I ever need somewhere to go. I wonder sometimes if these women on the forums have friends or family members that they can talk to on a daily basis. The last post I read from the Advice for moms forum was very intriguing! This mom was being verbally abused by her boyfriend and didn't know if she should leave him because she has kids with him. The amount of replies was amazing! There were over 200 replies. I couldn't read them all but there were a lot of other ladies putting in their two-cents! Most of the comments I read were positive and encouraging, but there's always that one or two that have to be so negative.
This leads me to my evaluation of the digital citizenship in my forums. I realized that women in these forums are like women around me: Some are loving and sympathetic, while others are blunt and rude. Many times I have noticed that the women love giving encouraging "hugs" that boost the original poster's moral, which is great since that's mainly the intent. Yet there are those few that always assume the negative like calling the original poster a fake or someone needing attention. Seldom does anyone lash back at these negative replies and it never ends in a cat fight (thank God), but I have noticed a few that just say what they mean and leave it at that.
Since I have an email sent to me daily, updating me on my forums, I will use what I've learned about digital citizenship and carry myself with dignity. When I had negative comments on my posts, I didn't like the feeling it gave me. I felt hurt and angry all at the same time, especially when I was called something I wasn't. Although, I'm not one to ponder over it, I can only imagine the impact it could have on children who are involved with social media. I want to be able to teach my students the importance of digital citizenship and the effects it can have on people.

Replies to my January Post

Wow I had so many negative replies from my last post! It actually hurt my feelings a bit. I had 25 replies and of those, 10 were negative and cruel! One lady asked me what type of cookie I wanted because I deserved one- sarcastically. But the reply that bothered me the most was from a mom who wrote:  "After rereading the OP, I'm getting the feeling that the poster needs a little ego stroking or something along those lines.  So, AniLia, you are Super Mom!  Did you ever know that you're my hero?  You're everything I wish I could be . . . Does that make you feel better?" She clearly misunderstood my post, but that's just how some people's perceptions are. I know that between my husband and I, we tend to misunderstand one another until we can clearly state what we meant to say. There was another lady who took my post the wrong way by saying "And do you want a medal??  Who are you to judge others??  Why can't moms of 1 or 2 find "me" time??  They are single parents; they have no local family or friend support system that can help them with kids.  Everyone has different circumstances and you are ignorant to try and show how much better you are than moms who struggle to find a few minutes to themselves." I realized that when I put up my post, I wasn't as clear as I should have been. I wanted to repost or edit my post to clear the air, but then I thought that it would be better to see how others would respond. After reading the negative replies, I came across a reply that made me feel a lot better. Finally, someone who was more understanding! She writes, "I'm not saying whether complaining is or isn't helpful to some people. I was just pointing out where OP seemed to be coming from. You assumed she needed ego stroking; I assumed she meant to say something else. Only OP can know who is right or wrong in interpreting the purpose of her post. But, a question for you: why the sarcasm directed at OP once you assumed she was seeking assurances when you seem to be generally empathetic to "complaints" as therapeutic, or as pleas for help or advice? OP is no less deserving just because she makes a deliberate and conscientious effort to keep it together while functioning at a high level, right? And you can't fault her for not understanding that some people complain to cope. An inquiry into why some moms complain was the question she posed in the first place." It was definitely an experience for me going through this forum! I guess there are moms that can be there for support, some will lift you up or put you down, and some are there that could care less about how to help, but just a few. I'm not use to having a "support system" that gives negative feedback, which made it hard to deal with. However, I'm one of those that can be lifted up with the positives over the negatives, even if there's only a few!

January post in my forum

I made another post in my forum:

Stop complaining!
Why is it that moms of one or two seem to do the most complaining about not having enough "me" time and are too busy to do anything? I have four children, work full time, and go to school and I STILL can find time for myself! It just urks me when I hear the complaining! It's called "making" time for yourself! Get organized, prioritize your time, and ask for help! Any other advice to give these "busy moms"?

I know that this post will bring some controversial replies. I hope that I didn't offend any moms; I was just trying to be honest. I will blog as soon as I get responds to this post. Wish me luck!

Responds to my December Posts

I was shocked to see how nice most moms were to my first posts. After all the reading I've been doing in cafemom.com, I thought I would have more negative replies because the women seem to be very opinionative. In my first post regarding the teacher, I had 11 replies and 4 likes. Of those replies, 8 women agreed with me, 3 were on both sides, and 1 lady completely disagreed. There wasn't much advice to give on my topic; however, there were some posts that were helpful. One lady commented on the others saying that there were "drama queens on Cafemom" and it seems to be the only place moms want to complain. There was only one mom who was a teacher, speaking from a teacher's perspective. She mentions that discipline should be given "the day they were born". As for my other post regarding my son, I had 12 replies and 1 like. All replies were positive with great, encouraging advice. The moms were very supportive and nice. They mostly said to tell my son to "eat healthy, lift properly, and keep encouraging him". There were 5 of the 12 replies that had a son or daughter that had gone through the same situation. What fun to have other moms to speak to! And they know nothing about me!