Sunday, January 19, 2014
Replies to my January Post
Wow I had so many negative replies from my last post! It actually hurt my feelings a bit. I had 25 replies and of those, 10 were negative and cruel! One lady asked me what type of cookie I wanted because I deserved one- sarcastically. But the reply that bothered me the most was from a mom who wrote: "After rereading the OP, I'm
getting the feeling that the poster needs a little ego stroking or something
along those lines. So, AniLia, you are Super Mom! Did you ever know that
you're my hero? You're everything I wish I could be . . . Does that make you
feel better?" She clearly misunderstood my post, but that's just how some people's perceptions are. I know that between my husband and I, we tend to misunderstand one another until we can clearly state what we meant to say. There was another lady who took my post the wrong way by saying "And do you want a medal?? Who
are you to judge others?? Why can't moms of 1 or 2 find "me" time?? They are
single parents; they have no local family or friend support system that can help
them with kids. Everyone has different circumstances and you are ignorant to
try and show how much better you are than moms who struggle to find a few
minutes to themselves." I realized that when I put up my post, I wasn't as clear as I should have been. I wanted to repost or edit my post to clear the air, but then I thought that it would be better to see how others would respond. After reading the negative replies, I came across a reply that made me feel a lot better. Finally, someone who was more understanding! She writes, "I'm not saying whether complaining is or isn't helpful to some people. I was
just pointing out where OP seemed to be coming from. You assumed she needed ego
stroking; I assumed she meant to say something else. Only OP can know who is
right or wrong in interpreting the purpose of her post. But, a question for you:
why the sarcasm directed at OP once you assumed she was seeking assurances when
you seem to be generally empathetic to "complaints" as therapeutic, or as pleas
for help or advice? OP is no less deserving just because she makes a deliberate
and conscientious effort to keep it together while functioning at a high level,
right? And you can't fault her for not understanding that some people complain
to cope. An inquiry into why some moms complain was the question she posed in
the first place." It was definitely an experience for me going through this forum! I guess there are moms that can be there for support, some will lift you up or put you down, and some are there that could care less about how to help, but just a few. I'm not use to having a "support system" that gives negative feedback, which made it hard to deal with. However, I'm one of those that can be lifted up with the positives over the negatives, even if there's only a few!
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After reading your last post, I had a feeling that it would be a controversial question. But you were in the right to pose that question especially since that was one of the requirements of this class. We needed to post something that we would assume would get a rise out of others and your post did just as the assignment asked. I too, take negative comments pretty hard depending on the subject and circumstance, but it is nice to have those few people who are willing to stick up for you and have your back. I think it was great to post something that would raise eyebrows, and it definitely gives you an inside look at how people think and can take a simple question out of context. That's the small problem I see with social media, things can be interpreted in all different ways. Your blog was very interesting to read throughout the course.
ReplyDeleteI was a bit nervous you would receive responses like this to you post. I am sure that you did not intend for the post to be as controversial as it was, but you definitely saw the backlash of what can happen in a forum. You saw all different types of negative digital citizenship. It is nice that one of the responses stuck up for you. You can tell that some people will not always just do the easy thing and join into a group of negativity. Some people stand up for others even if that is not the norm.
ReplyDeleteShirley, I commend you for posing a question that was bound to raise controversy. I am encouraged by the mother who stuck up for you and disappointed in the many mothers who felt the need to respond negatively to your question. It is unfortunate that so many people display such poor digital citizenship and feel that they can say whatever they want on the internet since it provides a non-confrontational outlet. I have truly enjoyed reading your blog this term!
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